Heading the right direction

OK, so we took a deposition from my doctor this morning.

It went well.

My attorney surprised me by wearing a white shirt and tie and actually being almost clean shaven.

The other side's attorney wore a Richie Cunningham sweater, no tie and looked like a school teacher. I'm sure that was on purpose.

Court reporters fascinate me. I remember when I was a kid I found a court reporting machine at a garage sale and played with it for a while, but I was never able to teach myself how to use it well enough to do it for a living.

They use to have this little paper that ran through them, like an adding machine, and each word was printed out on it's own line, but now they are all digital.

She just loaded a disc into the machine and away she went, clacking her levers and stopping from time to time to make handwritten notes.

In a day and age where so many jobs have become obsolete, it's reassuring to know that there is at least one that has managed to keep up with technology. It's somewhat disheartening to realize that it is a job that is dependent on the dishonesty, of somebody. If everyone were all just completely honest and honorable, all the court reporters, as well as all the lawyers, and judges, would be unemployed.

So, in the interest of helping an American keep their job, I say, go out today, cheat someone, break a law, slip on some ice, do something illegal, immoral or both.

Keep America's judicial system working.

It may be the only industry left that we haven't managed to outsource.

Can you imagine if they were to outsource the court system?

Log on to Http://www.courtcentral.gov.....

Judge: Hello, how may I help you today?

Me: I am trying to resolve my workers comp case. My employer abandoned me in my hour of need and threw me to the wolves when they realized that I was not willing to ignore my pain and continue to do a job that would potentially put me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.

Judge: I understand you want to resolve your Workers Comp case. I can help you with that. My name is Judge Rahshibji. I will be happy for helping with you please. Can you describe what the problem is?

Me: I broke my leg, it didn't heal completely, I went back to work too soon, and because I was not ready, I ruptured discs in my lower back. Now I can't return to truck driving, cannot lift more than 15 pounds and can neither stand nor sit continuously for more than 45 minutes at a time.

Judge: Let me restate the problem. Your leg is broken?

Me: No, my leg is not broken.

Judge: Your broken leg is not broken anymore?

Me: That is correct.

Judge: Well, I'm glad I could help you, thank you very much for using our service. As an added bonus, for using our service today I can offer you a special rate on an Alaskan Cruise Can I just get your credit card information, so I can verify that you are over 18?

...............

Ok, maybe it wouldn't really change that much.